Easter Feasters

The first year I was with my husband, I was surprised to learn his family did not gather together to celebrate Easter. I changed that right away by hosting a lovely Easter dinner that year. And the next year. And the next and the next and you get the idea. This year, I decided to let someone else have the honor of cleaning and shopping and cooking. Someone? Anyone? No one stepped up.

So we offered to take his parents out to dinner and invited his many siblings to join us. Only his sister took us up on the offer. She joined us, along with her grandfather (he's from a different side of her family - she's really Shaun's half-sister, see? and, oh, just trust me).

We caravanned to the Hoffman House. It's a bit nicer restaurant than we typically frequent, but it was a holiday. And we had a coupon.

I hadn't eaten all day, so by the time we arrived at 2:55 for our 2:45 sitting, I was famished. On our way to the table, we passed the buffet room - an entire banquet room filled with tables of hams, salads, breads and desserts. Thank you, Jesus, for dying and rising again so that we may have everlasting life and enjoy this heavenly buffet.

When the server came to take our drink order, Shaun handed her the coupon.

"Oh, we don't accept these on holidays," she informed us.

"It doesn't say that on the coupon," Shaun informed her.

"Well, my manager told us this morning we couldn't take them. I guess I could go ask him."

Shaun offered to go with her to speak to the manager.

The rest of us waited pensively for his return. Please say yes. Please say yes, I willed to the manager.

Shaun came back with a smile and a swagger and I knew he'd worked his magic. We were in! An Easter miracle!

He handed the server the coupon again. She looked at it and said, "Oh, it's for $75 off? I thought it was just for $25 off. I don't know if he'll accept this."

Shaun went to talk to the manager again and the rest of us looked longingly at the water pitchers on our table. Do we dare fill our glasses? Will we be allowed to stay, or will this dream dinner be destroyed by the coupon-hating manager?

Destroyed.

And because we are a family of A) principles and B) limited means, we got up and left. I imagined the manager calling after us, "You're leaving? Okay, okay! I give! I'll take your coupon, just please don't leave. We need your business. We need you!"

Those weren't the exact words he muttered under his breath as we walked out. I couldn't really focus on him, though, as I was trying to do my "Big mistake. Big. Huge. We have to go eat now" act while simultaneously sneaking a last look at the verboten omelet bar.

We rallied the troops and decided to go to Mongolian Grill because it was right across the street, Shaun's dad loves that place, and we had a coupon.

We blew in asking for a table for six. No need for a reservation here! This is the place to be, low-key and low-fuss, like us.

Oh, no, not that table for six. That one's too close to the grill. Do you have something else? Oh, isn't this quaint? A private party room. Well, I guess we are a party of 6!

Once we ordered and quickly explained the process to Shaun's sister and her grandfather, I made a beeline for the food. Given my haste and experience with the Mongolian grill procedures, I was the first to return to the table with my food. So I made a quick trip to the salad bar. Shaun's mom came back and said, "Oh, we can get salads? Where?"

Shaun and I pointed her in the direction of the salad bar. Then his dad came to the table and asked, "We can get salads? Where?"

Ditto for the sister. Not the grandfather, though. Hey, where'd he go, anyway?

As we start eating, the conversation turns to liver. As it does. How do you cook it? Why do people eat it? I had lots of questions. Then Shaun's dad began regaling us with stories of brain burgers, which were apparently a delicacy at Wainwright's, the deli by his house when he was a boy.

We all made gagging noises, even Grandpa, who'd just returned to the table after getting lost en route to the restroom and receiving an escort back from our server.

"Brains are good for you," Shaun's dad continued.

"I've heard dandelions are good for me," Shaun said, "but I'm not going to try them anytime soon."

"Dandelions? Do you know how those came to be in the U.S.? They're not native to this country, you know?"

I wish I could tell you how the dandelions got here, but it was at that point that I excused myself for another trip through the food line. When I returned, the conversation had turned to the banal subject of dog food. As in, "Dad ate dog food once. Liked it, too."

It was, in the end, a lovely meal accompanied by delightful conversation. I am happy to report that Mongolian Grill accepted not one, but TWO coupons from us. On a holiday, no less.

We love them.

God is so good.