Can you believe I said that?

This morning while talking to a colleague, I said, "We (the instructional staff) think you're on a power trip and we're losing respect for you. It's demoralizing."

And what did the colleague say? "Excuse me, could you tell me where the math department is?"

I was, uh, not actually talking to the colleague, but having a little convo with him in my head. It was going really well until a student interrupted us to ask for directions.

I spend a lot of time in these imaginary dialogues. This week I've told off a couple people from work, a rude lady at Target, and a mean-spirited in-law. Also had a delightful encounter with a perspective jewelry recruit and a heart-to-heart with Oprah.

I am not right in the head.

When I was young, I had several imaginary friends. They caused my mom anxiety over my normalcy. Then in high school, my friend Anjie announced that imaginary friends were a sign of intelligence. "I had three," she proudly told me.

In time I managed to ditch Listerine, Tarantula, Calculator and Kelly, who were steadfast friends in my formative years. I even made a few real-life pals along the way. But I never loosened my grip on non-reality. Now, instead of having fake friends, I have fake realities with real people.

Seems like a sign of crazy, but I'll cling to the intelligence theory from high school, thank you.